The Need To Be Right.

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I go to my wife and suggest a solution to a problem regarding the running of our household, and am met with anger and resentment.  She corrects my grammar, and I become indignant.  I endeavor to offer advice to one of my children, and am met with resistance.  I correct one of my children, whose heart immediately hardens.

Why this need to be right?

My dad was a doctor, and prided himself on being right.  He used to joke, “The only time I’ve been wrong is when I thought I wasn’t right.”  That may seem funny, but the need to be right is what killed my father.  It induced so much stress in his life, that he started having heart problems, as well as strokes, at the age of 45!

Proverbs 21:2  Every way of a man is right in his own eyes; but the Lord ponders the hearts.

Why is the need to be right (or the fear of being wrong) so ingrained in our being?  We know that the problems that accompany  the need to be right began on the day Adam & Eve ate of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (moral right and wrong).  (See study   What was The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil?)

I think that when God is not the “right” in our lives, we’ve got to produce that “rightness” ourselves……an impossible task.

The need to be right genders strife, fear, arguing, envy, jealousy, pride, covetousness, bitterness, anger and wrath, indignation, depression, oppression, guilt, condemnation,  implacability, drunkenness, lust, and so many other fruitless, self-defeating, self-punishing feelings and emotions.  These terrible, evil influences absolutely destroy everything they touch, and yet we continue to give in to their lying ways again and again and again.

All because we are trying to be right without God.

Outside of God, there is no right, no rightness, no righteousness.  And the righteousness of God is not a moral right, but a right working.  It works!  When I push the correct button on my TV remote, I’m right, because I get the right results…..not because it’s morally right.  (See study  Truth vs. Reality)

When (and if) we learn to escape the hamster wheel of needing to be right by our own inadequate ability, only then can we begin to understand just how fantastic God has designed the living of our lives to be.  When our right-ness (also called “righteousness”) is the rightness that God gifts to us by means of the payment of the life of His son, Jesus Christ; when that rightness which is endowed by God becomes established in our being as our true, real, valid identity; then our spiritual journey really begins in earnest.

Romans 5:21   That as sin has reigned unto death, even so might grace reign through righteousness (being right) unto eternal life by Jesus Christ our Lord.

(See the study   Grace).

There is so much freedom in not needing to be right in and by our own efforts!  (See study  Freedom in Christ).

When Christ is our rightness, then we have no further need to be right.  In fact, in Christ even when we’re wrong, we’re right, because we are still wholly acceptable to God.  True righteousness is a spiritual state of being, and can only be found in the spirit of Christ, which spirit God his Father gave him……and which (holy) spirit he, Jesus,  has given to the world, to be enjoyed by all who call upon him.

(See study   The Gift of God’s Righteousness).

Since the sins of the world have been completely, once-and-for-all-time paid for by Christ,  the only sin is not being in Christ!  The specific “sins,” then, are merely manifestations of that one sin, unbelief in the chosen one, the Christ, of God.  And that belief in (really, “unto”) Jesus Christ is a journey of spiritual growth.  Though we are born, spiritually, in a moment of time; the learning required to walk practically as a spiritual being takes a long time.  We should learn to enjoy the journey.

John 3:18, 19  He that believes on him is not condemned; but he that believes not is condemned already, because he has not believed in (eis – unto) the name of the only begotten son of God.  And this is the condemnation; that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

There is so much comfort and peace in the realization that you don’t need to be right in this world in order to be right before God.  That even your seeming imperfections are a part of the rightness of your spiritual being.  As a one-year old’s falling down is merely a part of the process of learning to walk and grow up and become coordinated, so the mistakes we make as we learn to walk by the spirit of God are merely a part of our growing in the power and authority God has given us in Christ as His sons.

Luke 2:52  And Jesus increased (made progress, pushed forward) in wisdom and stature (adultness, maturity), and in favor with God and man.

Even Jesus Christ learned and grew.  He made mistakes.  Mistakes are not sin, though Jesus was tempted to think they were, just like we are!

God cannot even see our sins, once we become His child.  When we try and remind Him that we are sinful, it’s like boxing the wind or arguing with a tree.  “What are you even talking about,” God thinks.  “I’ve given you the rightness of my son, and you have it, and you are as right as Jesus Christ in my sight.  So stop being silly and just enjoy the righteous life I’ve given you, as you go out and explore My creation.”

Hebrews 10:16, 17  This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the Lord, I will put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them; And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more..…….so stop trying to remind me of them!

Looking at your own self; judging yourself by your own efforts, or lack thereof…..that’s carnal, the way of the world.  It is unbelief and lacks trust and true understanding of the gift of Christ.   Looking within yourself and seeing the gift of the life of the Son of God; growing in the realization and understanding that you are now as much a son of God, with the same rights, as Jesus Christ himself….that’s spiritual.  It is the way and the law of God.

Romans 8:7, 8  Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.  So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

Statements like, “I’m just a sinner, sitting at the cross of Christ,” are made by people who have not yet accepted the gift of righteousness that God is offering everyone in the world.  Those who have accepted and are exploring the gift of the rightness of God say things like, “Whoa, how fantastic is this gift of life God has given me!!!  Look what I can do!  Man, is this so amazing!”  They walk in the spirit of thankfulness to God and to His son Jesus Christ, for the most astounding gift that has ever been given.  The gift of being right.

So stop trying in yourself, by your own efforts, to be right.  Just die to that individual who needs to be right.  Accept the gift of His Own rightness that God offers in its place.

Romans 3:22-26  Even the righteousness of God by faith of Jesus Christ (what he did) unto all and upon all them who believe; for there is no difference; For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus; Whom God has set forth a payment and restoration in full through faith in his blood, to declare His righteousness for the wiping away of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;  To declare at this time His righteousness; that He might be just, and the justifier of him who believes in Jesus.

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See studies:
The Approval of Man
Old Man, New Man … A Comparison
Dying to Self
Vanity of the Mind
Get Over Yourself

 

 

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About stevehartlaub@gmail.com

I'm a 70 year old spiritual adventurer in life, but I don't really get along with organized religion. I find it too passive, too worldly, too conforming, too powerless ... though I know many wonderful believers involved in it. I have been a seeker of Jesus Christ since 1974 in Ketchikan, Alaska. Very early into my spiritual journey, I came to the realization that I wouldn't be able to last long in this new Godly relationship without becoming able to understand the Bible. God supplied that need, and shortly thereafter I became interested in Biblical research ... Greek, word studies, HOW the Bible is designed to be understood, its customs, etc. I married Sharon in 1985 in Vancouver, Canada. I have 5 children - 3 girls, 2 boys....ages 27-33. All were homeschooled. 3 are happily married. I have six grandchildren. I have taught and studied the Word of God in informal gatherings in England, Scotland, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Germany, Canada, Alaska, Nevada and all over the United States. In 2006 I became aware of God calling me into the revelation of the glorified Christ within, and I have been involved in making that revelation known since then. I recently moved to Bella Vista, Arkansas, after living in Fitchburg, Wisconsin (suburb of Madison) since 1990.. If you're ever in the area, please look me up. I am a retired house painter, and God is providing for my wife and I abundantly! I am meek to the instruction of God...which often occurs while another person is speaking! So don't be afraid to comment on any of these studies. Because my heart is open to my master teacher, Jesus Christ!
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